Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Lesson Learned...the Hard Way

Morgan has been looking forward to joining Girl Scouts for a couple years now.  A friend of Morgan's has been in it, in another town a half hour away, for a while and Morgan has been able to hear some of the fun stuff they do.  I had tried to get her into a local troop, but the day they met didn't work out for us at the time. As of last March, she was signed up as an 'at home' Girl Scout, but we never actually took the time to do anything with it.  So, recently, a couple moms decided to start a new troop for her age and we jumped at the opportunity to join!

Last Tuesday would have been Morgan's first meeting but, unfortunately, she was sick with the flu that day.  She said she felt better and could go that night, but she still had a fever at the time of the meeting and we wouldn't let her.  She had been looking forward to doing it for SO LONG that not being able to go brought her to tears.  I felt bad for her as I went to the meeting to get the paperwork all filled out.  I had told a couple moms I knew at the meeting that she was sick and mentioned how much she had wanted to be there...that she was even in tears.....HUGE mistake!

A couple days later, after school, Morgan ran to her room and started crying out of the blue.  When I went in to see what was wrong, she was mad at me because I had told a little girl that she had cried because she couldn't go to Girl Scouts and that girl was telling other girls.  My stomach, and my heart, sank. I knew I had mentioned that Morgan cried, but only to emphasize how much she wanted to be at her first day of Girl Scouts.  I never meant it to be a negative thing about Morgan or her character.  I also really felt for Morgan.  Like me, she tends to be more sensitive, so she was really embarrassed and hurt.

Being the first time I unknowingly embarrassed my daughter, I didn't know what to do but apologize and tell her what was said was never meant to hurt her.  We talked a bit and went into how much it hurt her to have someone talk about her behind her back, or gossip about her, and how we should never say anything bad about anyone to other people because of how hurtful it is.  I also told her that I wasn't sure the girl probably didn't understand that what she did was hurting Morgan's feelings.  (At least I hope the girl didn't understand what she was doing!)

Morgan has another meeting tonight, so I've been thinking more about it.  I plan to talk to Morgan again, before we go, about what the other girl could have done instead of gossip...like tell Morgan that she was glad to see she is in school and feeling better...maybe add that she was sorry that she missed Girl Scouts and let Morgan know what they did for their first meeting.  As bad as I feel that Morgan was embarrassed over something I said, I want her to understand that it could have taken a whole different direction...that something very thoughtful could have happened instead.

I know I learned to watch what I say in front of kids her age.  Although I'm sure the mom understood what I was saying, the daughter must not have.  I hope Morgan learned how gossiping is hurtful and I hope she learns to be thoughtful if a similar situation ever happens to a friend of hers'.


Lori Sparagowski said...

This a perfect Girl Scout teaching moment! As a matter of fact there is probably even a chapter of their book devoted to this. The leaders can work this into a meeting and leave Morgan's name completely out of it. End with a game of telephone usually drives the point home! It definitely needs to be addressed before it happens routinely, nothing will break up a troop faster.

Cascia Talbert said...

I agree. It does hurt when other's talk about you behind your back and I am sure you did not expect Morgan to be hurt by your remarks. Hopefully she will learn from this and the other girls in her troop will too.

Alesha @ Full Time Mama said...

I'm so sorry Morgan was hurt, but it sounds like you handled it perfectly! I know she'll have a blast tonight!

mail4rosey said...

I'm sorry your little one had her feelings hurt. I've done it inadvertently too, and it's not fun at all. :/

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I can feel that knot in your stomach with you. I'm so sorry that happened but hopefully in the end she learned a wonderful lesson and just maybe the girl learned one too. Watching our children when their heart is hurting is the hardest....((HUGS)), you didn't mean any harm. Hope things went well for her at the meeting.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Doesn't it just kill you :(.

Some kids can be so mean. We had a problem at Cole's old school. With his ADHD not in check he had a hard time with his noises and sitting still. Every day I'd walk in 2 little kids would tell me everything that went wrong with him that day. He would almost be in tears by the time we got to the car that these kids kept going on and on about how bad he was.

One kid kept bullying him saying how he wished he didn't have to sit next to him in chapel day because he made too many noises ;(.

Just made me so sad to see how hurt he was at other's words.

Then before we got him on meds this year his best buddy, first friend in the new school. Parents told him he couldn't hang out with him. Kids older sister came up to Cole teasing him that their parents had said Cole was a bad kid and they shouldn't hang out with him.

She did it in front of a bunch of kids. Oh man the tears :(

Blogging tips